Beautiful Trainwreck: A Demi Lovato Fanfiction
by LovaticLifeAk
Summary: After meeting Demi one night at her concert she never expects to see her again, but when her dad decides to move them halfway across the country will an unprecedented run in with Demi be the start of something more? (eating disorder, self harm, girlxgirl)
1. Chapter 1

"No one's perfect, hun." he told her

"I know,' the little girl said, 'but I want to be the closest thing to it."

"And what's that?"

"_Skinny."_

Chapter 1

"I don't think that I can make it through another day," I write those words in my journal then close it and put it away. I walk over to my closet trying to decide what to wear. The short sleeve shirt was out, my cuts are healing up but they are still pretty noticeable. Skinny jeans aren't an option; I am way too fat to look good in them. I finally end up choosing the same outfit I wear practically every other day of the year, my hoodie and sweats. I pull on my tennis and slip a few Bring Me the Horizon and All Time Low bracelets up my arms. I head into the bathroom. Gazing into the mirror I decide to wear a little mascara today. I brush it on, after carefully dabbing concealer on my cuts and the circles under my eyes. I am so fat and ugly; no wonder everyone hates me I think. I flip off the light and run down the stairs then up and down once more, I've got to burn some calories.

"Honey! I made your favorite! Strawberry topped waffles." My mom calls.

"I'll eat them on the way" I say, slipping them into a plastic container as I run out the door. The bus comes at 7:30 and I'm freezing by the time it arrives. It's good for you, I tell myself, and you need to lose some weight. As I climb on the bus a couple of guys sitting in the front hoot and holler

"Ooh look, here's fatty Jamee and her carb loaded breakfast!" They laugh as if it's the funniest thing as I walk by. I find a seat in the back, by myself. The girls sitting around me comment on my clothes.

"God Jamee, don't you have anything but your slum outfit, you look like a boy so I guess its ok you're a little overweight and ugly." I push in my ear buds trying to block them out, it's the same every day, I should be used to it by now but it still hurts, I don't feel pain anymore though, I'm numb. The ride goes surprisingly fast and my rumbling stomach starts complaining again as soon as I step off the bus and smell the leftovers of food from the breakfast they have for the homeless kids every morning. I push onward ignoring it. I deposit my backpack in my locker and grab the few books I need for my first class. Algebra, I've given up trying, not like it's worth it, I'm so ugly no one will ever hire me anyway. I still have to look studious though or Mr. Davies will get mad, he hates slackers. I slide into my desk chair, I always sit in the back, and I like it better back there. I scroll through Facebook on my phone before class starts. I have 4 messages. I start to smile; maybe one of my friends from my old school has finally messaged me back. I check them, it's just some hate from some of the girls in my class telling me to go die, ok, and I'm already planning on it. Lunch comes not a moment too soon. I race to the girl's bathroom and sit in a stall. I cut one, two, three lines across my stomach, the pain starts to fade and I stand up. I take my lunch, the waffles, and flush them down the toilet, one step closer to being skinny. I walk out of the stall and go outside and sit under one of the pillars waiting for lunch to end. My phone buzzes and it's a text from my friend Marie asking if I want to hang out after school, I answer yes and she texts back  
"Good, McDonalds 3:30" I groan,

"God, why did I have to say yes, I should have known there would be food involved."

"It's ok," the voice says, "you can just get a lean meal and then purge it."

"Ok," I say, "That's a good idea." After school I head to McDonalds, Marie is there, smiling and as bubbly as ever. She orders a double mac and a large chocolate shake while I just get a diet coke and a salad, hold the dressing. As were sitting down eating she remarks on how thin I'm getting, I know she's lying because I'm not even close to being skinny.

"So Jamee," she says, "the reason I wanted us to meet up was because I have some really awesome news but I wanted to tell you in person."

"You're pregnant!" I blurted, she laughed.  
"No silly! I got tickets to a Demi Lovato concert and I want you to come along! How cool is that!?" I sit there stunned and then I just get up and start screaming,

"OMG! Ahhhh!" As I sit back down I'm crying and I don't even care that everyone around me is staring. Demi means the world to me, I feel like she's the only one who understands. I get up and give Marie a big hug, "Thank you so, so much!" I say, "You don't know how much this means." Marie laughs,

"Oh but I do," she says, and hugs me back.


	2. Chapter 2

She says she's fine but she's going insane. She says she feels good, but she's in a lot of pain. She says it's nothing, but it's really a lot. She says she's okay, but really she's not.

Chapter 2

I feel like I'm on cloud nine, it's only when I look down and see my salad that I'm brought back to reality. I eat it slowly; the lettuce is the safe part. Marie and I have a nice talk but soon she leaves and I stand up and throw my salad away. Most of it is left but I go to the bathroom anyway. I wait until everyone is out and then I stick my fingers down my throat determined to make that last little bit come back up. After a few minutes I succeed. I go wash my hands and fix my makeup. I check the time on my phone, 5pm, god I'm going to have to hurry if I want to catch the city bus on time. I get to the bus stop just as it's pulling in, after paying my money I go take a seat and start texting. One from Marie pops up, "Still walking on air?" It reads with a smiley face.

"U know it" I text back. I get home and because neither of my parents are home I fish out the spare key from the flower pot. Unlocking the door and walking through the house I find a note on the kitchen table.

"Will be out until late, help yourself, love mom." Well that is fine with me. I walk into my room and toss my backpack on my bed, homework time. I blast Pierce the Veil and My Chemical Romance as I study for finals, ugh, god I hate studying. After I finish I pullout my notebook and put on DEMI for some inspiration while I'm writing. The next time I glance at the clock its 8pm, I climb out of bed and go take a shower, afterwards I stand surveying my body in the full length mirror. Nothing's changed, I cry with disgust and shame, hating myself for what I was doing but my self-hate consumes me more so I fill my arms and legs with fresh cuts. Some of them were scary deep, I bandaged them the best I could and then put on my pajamas. I crawled into bed and turned on my speakers. I fell into a tumultuous sleep after three songs from John Mayer. Waking up my whole body was filled with stinging pain; I winced, remembering the night before. My mom calls, "You'll be late for school." I groan climbing out of bed and throwing on some clothes.

"Just a minute!" I yell. I do my makeup and conceal my scars and fresh cuts, it stings. I pull my hair into a messy bun and head downstairs. "I'm going over to Maries," I call out, "Don't wait up for me."

"Ok honey, do you want anything to eat?" My mom asks.

"No thanks, I'm good." I say, walking out the door. I grab my bike and pedal to Maries; she only lives two blocks down. She sees me coming from her apartment window and hurries down to meet me.

"You ready for a Demi concert preparation day?" she asks.

"Sure am." I reply. We hop into her car and drive to the mall. First up is finding the perfect outfit, on a side note I really hate shopping, I look so fat and ugly in everything and it's hard to find something that will cover all my scars. We go into Macys and go to the urban corner. I find a cute pair of geometric leggings and a shirred tunic top. I grab a belt and some wedges to complete it.

"Do you want to try it on?" Marie asks.

"No I'm good." I say, "What are you getting?" She holds up a short mini dress with a jacket and some heels, "Its super cute" I say. We walk to the counter and pay for them, Marie insists on treating me, I resist and finally give in. "Ok," I say, "But you have to let me pay for something today ok?"

"Sure," she answers with a smirk. We link elbows and go back out to the car, "On to the hairstylists!" She yells and I laugh. I end up just getting a trim but I get some highlights put in, accenting my gold hair. Marie gets a drastic bob and purple highlights, she rocks it though. She asks if I want to go out to eat and I decline,

"I'm kind of tired," I say, "What if we go crash at your place?"

"Great idea," She replies. At her apartment we do Manis and Pedi's. I do my usual black but Marie goes for a silver blue striped look to match her dress. It's late by the time I get home, 11pm. I put my bike in the garage and creep through the house as quietly as possible trying not to wake anyone.

A/N – Hey lovelies, so don't worry Demi is coming up in the next chapter. Please don't forget to R&R.. It really gives me motivation and helps me know what direction to take the story in Stay Strong

yoyodems


	3. Chapter 3

A girl who seems so happy, cry's on the bathroom floor. A girl, who seems to cope well, cuts herself every day. A girl, who seems so pretty, throws up in the toilet. A girl, who seems so perfect, isn't.

Chapter 3

I flip on the lights in my room and fall into my bed. I'm exhausted, I haven't eaten at all today and I feel super hungry. "Don't give in," I tell myself. "You don't need to be any fatter than you are." I go to step on the scale and want to kill myself at the number, 100lbs, I haven't lost any weight for the past two days, and I'm so fat. I go into my room and do a series of push-ups crunches and mountain climbers. By the time I finish I feel as if I'm dying. I hold onto my bathroom sink trying not to faint. After a little while I'm able to stand on my own again. Demi's concert is tomorrow so I decide to do a mud mask to cleanse my pores and maybe make me a little less ugly. I dance around my room to Paramore looking like a green zombie. After I wash it off I head to bed. I curl up with my fuzzy blanket and turn Don't Forget on low as I nod off. Waking, I am super hyped but also really scared and nervous. Marie is picking me up at 9am because we have to drive three hours to get to the concert. I slip on my new outfit and curl my hair; applying makeup I wish I could be beautiful. I grab my purse and run to the door. "I'll see you tomorrow," I yell to my mom. Marie is waiting in her car. I climb in and fasten my seat belt. After we've been driving for 20 minutes she turns down Here We Go Again which we've been blaring and says,

"So Jamee, there's a little surprise for you,"

"What?" I answer,

"Well," she says, "You know those tickets?" I nod. "Well they're actually backstage passes!" I scream and she laughs.  
"Why didn't you tell me?" I say,

"Because I didn't want you to die of a heartattack before we even left." She laughed. Well she does have a point sense I'm hyperventilating now. We laugh and she turns the music back up. We scream out the lyrics as we race through town. She makes a turn on the freeway and we head north. The stadium is packed full of Lovatics. We push through and a security guard leads us backstage to a room where we wait. I really need to go to the bathroom so I tell Marie I'll be right back and go in search of a restroom. After five minutes I find one, finally, and go into a stall. I open the door to wash my hands and go to the sink. As I'm rinsing them the door to the bathroom opens and a woman walks in. She looks young and is super beautiful. As she raises her head I gasp, seeing that it's Demi.

"Hey," she smiles and comes over to the sinks. I blush and say hi back. As I reach for a towel to dry with my sleeves slip up, I pull them back down but I'm not fast enough. Demi catches her breath sharply as I dry my hands, acting like nothing happened. As I move to throw the towels away she touches my shoulder, "Is there anything I can do to help?" she asks. I shake my head and look up at her; she has tears in her eyes.

"Don't cry," I say, "I'm not worth it."

"But you are," she says and moves to hug me. I step into it and it's the best hug ever, warm and comforting, with a hint of strawberries. She lets me go, her hands sliding down to my wrists, "Why?" she asks. I lower my eyes,

"Life, mean people, I hate myself, I'm so fat and ugly," I say, chocking up. She hugs me again and whispers into my hair,

"It's going to be alright sweetie," A few tears fall out of my eyes onto her jacket. Then I come back to reality,

"I can't… I'm so sorry..." I say, backing away. "I'm just a waste of time."

"No" Demi says, "I want to be here for you," she takes my phone and enters something in it before giving me one more hug, she whispers stay strong baby, in my ear before she leaves. I stare at myself in the mirror still so shocked that Demi hugged me, I check my phone, she had put her number in my contacts, I'm stunned. I go back out to Marie, who is squealing with excitement,

"OMGODD! Jamee! Demi just came by and she autographed my cd! Ahh!" I laugh and give her a hug.

"You lucky duck," I say. Sense we have backstage passes we watch the concert from the side. Demi is amazing, I cry when she sings Skyscraper, well ok I cry the whole concert long but who wouldn't? Leaving the concert is almost harder than getting tickets for it was. Marie and I are nearly trampled by all the people that came to see Demi.


	4. Chapter 4

I looked in the mirror and didn't cry, for once, I thought maybe I had begun to love myself again. And then I realized I just feel numb. I forgot how to love myself long long ago.

Chapter 4

We finally burst out of the crowd and are in the open air. We look for our car and start walking towards it. The ride home goes too fast and suddenly the night is over, I thank Marie and go inside my house, flipping the light switch. "Where the hell were you?" My dad says from the couch. "You've been out 4 hours past your curfew."

"Aw dad," I say, "I told mom I would be back late, Marie and I had to drive three hours just to get back."

"I don't fucking care what you were doing!" He yells, "You're grounded until further notice." I just walk up the stairs to my room, I'm used to this by now, has obviously been drinking again. I decide to take a nice warm bath, wincing slightly as the water penetrates my cuts. I wash with some lavender bath soap and lay back. Before I know it Ive dozed off. When I wake up the water is cold and I'm stiff. I curse climbing out of the tub and drying myself off. After brushing my teeth I go on twitter. I smile seeing all the new pictures from Demi's concert and knowing I was there. I fall asleep a couple of hours later. The next morning I wake up to my dad banging on my door. "Jamee, get up this minute, you need to pack now!" He yells. I sigh, rubbing my eyes, what's this about packing? I open my door still half awake and my dad's standing there with a cardboard box in his hand. "Were moving," he simply announces,

"What?!" I say, "No! We can't!"

"It's not your choice" he says and takes off back to downstairs and the computer. I roan and pinch myself hoping that I'm still dreaming, I'm not. Why is my life so fucked up? Turns out were moving to Dallas Texas, which honestly isn't the worst place he could have chosen. Three days later were on a plane to Dallas. The hardest part was saying goodbye to Marie; we will still face time and Skype. The stewardess is giving out drinks and snacks, I just get a diet coke, and my stomach is just a dull pain now. I haven't eaten in over a week. I scroll through my phone contacts and stop at Demi's name, I wonder what she's up to I think, I almost text her but then I stop, not wanting to annoy her. I close my eyes and lean into a nap. I jolt awake as we touch down at Fort Worth and the lights come on, it's a raining, a wonderful omen for my new start on life. My parents and I collect our bags and walk out of the baggage claim to a waiting taxi. The ride to our new neighborhood takes about 45 minutes; we pull up to a nice three story brick house. My interest perks and I pull out one of my ear buds and go up to the front door. "Choose any room you want honey!" my dad yells. I go upstairs and explore. I eventually choose a room with a window above the roof; I think it will be good for midnight escapades from my hell of a life. It takes most of the afternoon to unpack and then I decide to take a walk. I go out to the garage and grab my bike, pedaling down the street. The cul-de-sac is large with about eight houses. I start to feel tired and decide to go inside and rest. I sit up and look at the clock, its 8am, oh god; school is in like five minutes. I race to get ready and hurriedly throw on my clothes. I simply don't have time to straighten my hair so I pull the strings of my hoodie tight and head out the door. I've already missed the bus and am late so I just take my time and walk to school.


End file.
